Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Dear Mother

This is an ACTUAL e-mail I sent to my mother this morning

Dear Mother,

I am writing this email to tell you I am done. I am so sorry since the day I was born I never was good enough. I am so sorry I never made you proud or ever got your approval for anything. It doesn't matter to me anymore, I am done looking for your approval because the only approval I am looking for anymore is MY approval. I never got the love and support I needed from you. I am so sorry I had to look for other mother figures because you BEAT me and verbally and mentally abused me. I have absolutely no respect for you except for the only one thing you did right and that was not aborting me.
I am so sorry that I can't forgive you. What you did and the way you have treated me my entire life is just unforgivable. I could NEVER treat Nolan like that. I hope you don't treat anyone else as badly as you have treated me. You never accepted me for who I was and you were the one who always wanted me to be someone else. Sorry you got stuck with a drop out child bride bisexual daughter. If I am not good enough it doesn't even bother me anymore. I am tired of you dragging me down. This "relationship" we have is horrible for me and so toxic. I find myself treating Chris the way you treat me and it's not fair to him. I gave you your chance to fix this. All it would have taken is one phone call. You have to much pride to even muster an " I am sorry!" but maybe you can't even muster it up because you really aren't. The way I am isn't because of all those men that abused me, I am the way I am because of YOU. Your so toxic, that I refuse to have it around my son or I. I want absolutely no contact with you anymore. Consider this my bow out, my resignation of being your daughter. I hope you have a wonderful life but I refuse to be apart of it.


1 comment:

  1. You're blog brought me to tears. I truly hope that telling your story helps the healing process and brings you the sense of peace and contentment you deserve.